Life, Love, Stress, and Setbacks.
i hate seeing people my age who’ve got their life together already like what the fuck
I don’t even know what I’m going to wear tomorrow.
For true though.
Anonymous asked: I've been an addict for a little over a year now. i started using because of depression. i used to just smoke weed, pop some pills, and drink. i went to a couple treatments, tons of therapy, and i tried much more, yet nothing/nobody made me happy like drugs did. i got sober for about 3 1/2 months, until i relapsed. being sober just made the addiction even worse. i let everyone down. i started taking large amounts of opiates, i tried cocaine, & acid. i dont even know who i am anymore.
You know that’s how it all starts. Weed is defiantly a gateway drug. When my family found out I was a heroin addict they were in shock. “Like oh my god, Brooke’s a heroin addict this came out of no where”
But in reality my years of substance abuse progressed and I climbed up the latter of drugs.
I started with weed, the alcohol, ecstasy, Xanax, Valium, mushrooms, acid, cocaine, cutting and self harming and then heroin. But every fucking time someone asked me if I was okay I said “yeah” but when your child is doing things like that how the fuck do you expect to take their word that they are OKAY. I was far from being okay with myself, my life, my family, my school. Every since a little girl I felt different. I’ve seen things that no child should ever see. I just wish I had the guts to be like “no I’m not okay. I hate myself. I hate my life and I hate what I’m becoming” but for me I was like who the fuck needs to deal with life when there are drugs to mask every emotion or pain a human being feels. My mom unfortunately is methamphetamine and pill addict.
My first heavy using started when I was 12. I got robbed at gun point by 5 African American men in my home. And instead of going to counseling or therapy my mom had a pill to deal with whatever emotion or post traumatic stress symptom I was having. And as years went on, I became accustomed to doing whatever my mom gave. When your 12 and fucking hurt and scared and the one person your supposed to trust and rely on says “here honey, take this and you’ll feel all better” like holy fucking shit. What do my parents expect outta me.
Through my program I’m Truly finding out who I thought I was for so many years and seeing who I am today.
It really is a life changing experience and all the time and energy I would use to get loaded is now directed into remaining clean and sober
But it’s not fucking rainbows and unicorns. It’s constant horrible thoughts about the past and I feel trapped in my head. The point of the program is not perfection but progress. We are far from perfect and always will be but taking that first step by either going to a meeting or entering yet another rehab you are making progress.
I hope that you make the choice to become a better human being and build a relationship with a higher power whatever that may be, for me it’s the ocean. I feel at constant peace with myself when I’m there and all my problems seem so minuscule.
I love you. And I hope that you take the first step to getting better. You are in my prayers and thoughts and I’m here for you whenever you need me.
Anonymous asked: My aunt abuses heroin and Xanax. .
It’s a tough think to shake.
Especially watching someone you love destroy themselves with such harsh substances.
There’s meetings you can go to called Al anon so you can get a better insight on how the mind of an addict works. They helped my family alot. But you should really tell her how you feel and possibly tell someone else. Don’t just turn a blind eye because if you continue to do so only something dramatic can change her life whether it be an overdose or a family intervention
I’m sorry you have to see that.
My mother is a methamphetamine and pill addict. She’s 51 and I’ve accepted the fact that she is never going to get help but now me being a recovering addict I understand her more.
My love and prayers go out to you and your family.
aw shit get it wednesday
HA! I almost forgot to reblog this today
Every Wednesday from now on.
Its wednesday , get it girl
Every damn Wednesday! Get it girl, don’t stop.
well here’s one perk to it being wednesday today
I hate those people that come over and change the smell of your whole house
especially that smell only some of my mexican friends have, that Fabuloso, tall candles with Jesus on it, and Tortilla smell
I was waiting for this haha
Hi I’m Brooke and I’m an addict.
Junkie, dope fiend, alcoholic.
I’ve struggled with alcholic part because never have I drank on a binge or anything because I don’t like the effect it has on me.
But I’m coming to the terms if herion, coke, Xanax, ecstasy, or weed wasn’t there for sure I’d be reaching for the bottle.
I’ve got like 24 days sober I think. No herion. Woooohooo!
I feel so damn proud of myself like I haven’t had this long sober in 7 years.
7 fucking years of substance abuse and in these past 3 weeks; nothing.
I’ve have no desire to use anymore because I’m outta the suicidal mind state.
The only reason I would go out again, would be to end my life
After 2 overdoses, jail, and institutions; death seemed like a nice place to be it didnt scare me at all.
I thank my higher power for coming into my life. Never had such an amazing relationship with it until I came to the rooms of NA, HA, and AA.
IT WORKS IF YOU FUCKING WORK IT SO KEEP COMING BACK.
if anyone wants to talk I’m open. I can give you what is freely given to me through advice and unconditional Genuine Love
For the addicts that are still suffering, there is hope.
you said youd always love me
WHY IS IT SURROUNDED BY SALT
#BECAUSE IT’S A FUCKING DEMON
HOW CAN YOU BE ON TUMBLR AND NOT KNOW ABOUT THE SALT
Brooke, 19, San Diego
My heart belongs in Hawaii
I kinda have this Crazy Passion about Animals.
Anything beach related or eye catching.
I love surfing, weed, Honda's, aquariums and food
Real Hip Hop and Feeel goood music is what I'm all about.
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